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Think of these mini podcasts like voice memos reaching out to you from a friend through the isolation. Except better, because they include tools for growing intimacy between yourself and those you care about. Note: podcasts come out Monday and each week there is an assignment for you to practice! Be sure to tune in, engage the practice and leave me a note about what you learned! Each assignment will build on the previous week‘s podcast. Dr. Jessica Tartaro (she/her) is a cis-gendered, able bodied, second generation Sicilian Jewish Intimacy Coach & Connection Facilitator who brings to her teaching nearly 20 years of experience in the healing arts. Through her one-of-a-kind workshops and coaching, Jessica powerfully weaves together the influences of Authentic Relating, positive psychology, psycho-education, trauma-sensitivity, mindful embodiment and conscious intimacy. Plus, she loves to play. Former Fulbright scholar, Jessica has founded communities across the country dedicated to healing the collective experience of belonging through group resilience, emotional intelligence and body wisdom. On the Olympic Peninsula of Washington where she lives and loves, Jessica is exploring the integration of racial justice with conscious relating and embodiment. To stay current on her evolving offerings and inquire about her private coaching and public speaking, go to www.DrJessicaTartaro.com.
Episodes
Saturday Jun 11, 2022
Saturday Jun 11, 2022
When conflict takes over your relationships, most people default to silence. But silence wounds our relationships. When you use this tool, you won’t have to pay the price of silence between you and your loved ones again.
1:45 I’ve been seeing a lot of this in my private practice
1:58 Intimacy will show us the state of our hearts
2:24 Relationship challenges like a symptom
2:50 This can keep us in love for a lifetime
3:20 The set up for the silence
5:04 Silence can inadvertently convey things that aren’t true
5:49 The tool for disturbing the silence
6:10 An example of putting words to the silence
7:05 When we don’t put words to the silence, here’s what we risk”
7:57 Other examples
8:34 Neither of you has to guess
8:48 This week’s homework
Resources: The Sound of Silence by Simon & Garfunkel (1964): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4fWyzwo1xg0
Podcast produced by Sal DeRosalia
Music composed and performed by Aimee Mia Kelley
Photo by Priscilla Du Preez on Unsplash
Contact Information:
Intimacy Coach & Connection Facilitator
Pronouns “She” + “Her”
Telephone: 1 (480) 993-5562
Email: DrTartaro@gmail.com
Website: https://www.drjessicatartaro.com/
Contact me to schedule an initial, complimentary consultation – called an Exploratory – to explore the fit for coaching together.
Looking for tools you can immediately apply to improve your relationships? Tune into weekly installments of “Under 10: A Mini Intimacy Podcast with Dr. Jessica Tartaro“
Monday May 30, 2022
Monday May 30, 2022
Reflective listening is deceptively simple. Anyone can practice it. And it has the potential to help us “catch up” when overwhelming events can be too much to digest on our own.
1:30 Emotionally metabolize events that are too big
2:15 Listening for dummies (not really)
2:35 A reflective listening example
3:04 It’s okay to be skeptical
3:40 It just works - here’s why
3:57 We hear through the filters over our ears
4:30 The costs of the distortion
5:23 Why “feeling heard” is so important
7:10 “I will not try to change you”.
8:44 Help us “catch up” to ourselves
9:07 This week’s homework
9:55 Be sure to include this follow up phrase
Resources: Subscribe to my Patreon page to ensure you don’t miss an episode of "Under 10"! Find me at: Patreon.com/DrTartaroIntimacyCoaching. And for this week’s homework, check out Episodes 16 and 42 on my website here: https://www.drjessicatartaro.com/under-10-podcast/.
Podcast produced by Sal DeRosalia
Music composed and performed by Aimee Mia Kelley
Photo by Tchoutcho Dantine de Thier on Unsplash
Contact Information:
Intimacy Coach & Connection Facilitator
Pronouns “She” + “Her”
Telephone: 1 (480) 993-5562
Email: DrTartaro@gmail.com
Website: https://www.drjessicatartaro.com/
Contact me to schedule an initial, complimentary consultation – called an Exploratory – to explore the fit for coaching together.
Looking for tools you can immediately apply to improve your relationships? Tune into weekly installments of “Under 10: A Mini Intimacy Podcast with Dr. Jessica Tartaro“
Monday May 23, 2022
Monday May 23, 2022
When the going gets tough in relationship, sometimes you need more than words to reconnect you - you need bodies. In this episode "teaser", I introduce why sex as a practice can save and sustain your connection over the long term. Check out the full show on Patreon.com/DrTararoIntimacyCoaching.
00:48 The door is closed and I’m going to share more candidly from here
1:08 The healing role of lovemaking to reconnect you
1:17 My husband and I had some surprising results
1:25 Sometimes it’s not words that will unblock you, it’s bodies
1:38 The end of this week’s teaser and where to find the rest of the episode
1:54 The perks of being a Patreon subscriber - not just podcasts!
Resources: To listen to the rest of this episode and make sure you get all future episodes of "Under 10", go to www.Patreon.com/DrTartaroIntimacyCoaching. I look forward to seeing you there!
Contact Information:
Intimacy Coach & Connection Facilitator
Pronouns “She” + “Her”
Telephone: 1 (480) 993-5562
Email: DrTartaro@gmail.com
Website: https://www.drjessicatartaro.com/
Contact me to schedule an initial, complimentary consultation – called an Exploratory – to explore the fit for coaching together.
Looking for tools you can immediately apply to improve your relationships? Tune into weekly installments of “Under 10: A Mini Intimacy Podcast with Dr. Jessica Tartaro“
Monday May 16, 2022
Monday May 16, 2022
Having things unsaid in a relationship will clog the pipes of your connection. In this episode, I explain that it’s never too late to get vulnerable and bring the flow back.
00:49 Big announcement about “Under 10”
1:39 Where to find me on Patreon going forward
2:10 What “getting stuck” means
2:43 You know you’ve gotten stuck when these things are happening
3:23 Poop metaphor (skip ahead as needed)
4:20 This is what unclogs the pipes
4:45 It’s the vulnerability that creates the flow
5:14 An example from a friend’s hot first date and how she got stuck
7:02 The bad news and the good news about getting unstuck
7:48 This week’s homework
9:32 The pun I couldn’t resist
9:42 I hope to see you on Patreon!
Resources: I hope you will consider becoming a patron of my work in order to avoid missing any episodes of "Under 10" as well as to get less edited, more raw content. Ready to go deeper with me? Find me at http://Patreon.com/DrTartaroIntimacyCoaching. And thank you!
Podcast produced by Sal DeRosalia
Music composed and performed by Aimee Mia Kelley
Photo by Nicholas Ng on Unsplash
Contact Information:
Intimacy Coach & Connection Facilitator
Pronouns “She” + “Her”
Telephone: 1 (480) 993-5562
Email: DrTartaro@gmail.com
Website: https://www.drjessicatartaro.com/
Contact me to schedule an initial, complimentary consultation – called an Exploratory – to explore the fit for coaching together.
Looking for tools you can immediately apply to improve your relationships? Tune into weekly installments of “Under 10: A Mini Intimacy Podcast with Dr. Jessica Tartaro“
Monday Apr 11, 2022
Monday Apr 11, 2022
“Just moving on '' after the worst of the pandemic poses major risks to our quality of life and capacity to connect. When you have the courage to slow down and honor what you just went through, you can retrieve and re-integrate the parts of you that got “stuck” in the stressors of the last two years.
1:15 Tempting to just put the stressors of the last two years behind us
2:00 We have all been affected
2:10 The first time I took my mask off
3:00 The definition and importance of continuity
4:20 Our culture rushes past impact
4:42 This is what could have been said
4:56 A “catching up”
5:42 The high costs of just moving on
6:05 Story by Rabbi Bernath about beauty in a metro station
7:00 Shouldn’t beauty arrest us no matter what we are doing?
7:27 The relationship between stopping for beauty and stopping for pain
8:25 This is how we “unstick” from where we got stuck in the past
8:40 This week’s homework – 3 parts
Resources: Read the full essay by Rabbi-Yisroel Bernath, “Missing the Beauty, here: https://st-ignatius.net/missing-the-beauty/. Check out a blog I wrote about my community’s transition out of masks here: https://www.drjessicatartaro.com/masks-coming-off-why-transitioning-gently-matters/. And contact me for more information about speaking to your group by emailing me at DrTartaro@gmail.com.
Podcast produced by Sal DeRosalia
Music composed and performed by Aimee Mia Kelley
Photo credit Antonio Guillem from iStock
Contact Information:
Intimacy Coach & Connection Facilitator
Pronouns “She” + “Her”
Telephone: 1 (480) 993-5562
Email: DrTartaro@gmail.com
Website: https://www.drjessicatartaro.com/
Contact me to schedule an initial, complimentary consultation – called an Exploratory – to explore the fit for coaching together.
Looking for tools you can immediately apply to improve your relationships? Tune into weekly installments of “Under 10: A Mini Intimacy Podcast with Dr. Jessica Tartaro“
Monday Apr 04, 2022
Monday Apr 04, 2022
In this week’s episode, I delve into the importance of a self-pleasure practice and specific steps you can take to create or deepen your practice. Whether you’ve been pleasuring yourself for a lifetime or have never felt ready – until now – I’m grateful you’re along for this exploration.
1:56 Yes, masturbation can be a practice
2:10 What happens to our psychology when we hide or don’t share something
3:06 Our attention changes the object of our attention
3:24 Something fractured getting more whole
4:13 Masturbation as a full body, self-honoring ritual
4:51 Paying attention to ourselves is counterintuitive to our cultural programming
5:28 Quote by Eduardo Galleano
6:06 Pleasure is a pathway to inhabit yourself
6:58 I choose to be a fiesta.
6:55 An imagination exercise
8:00 Permission to make it up and let go of a goal
9:18 This week’s homework
Resources: In addition to celebrating the body, Eduardo Galeano (1940-2015) was a passionate advocate for human rights and social justice. Read more about him as well as listen to interviews here: https://lannan.org/bios/eduardo-galeano.
Podcast produced by Sal DeRosalia
Music composed and performed by Aimee Mia Kelley
Contact Information:
Intimacy Coach & Connection Facilitator
Pronouns “She” + “Her”
Telephone: 1 (480) 993-5562
Email: DrTartaro@gmail.com
Website: https://www.drjessicatartaro.com/
Contact me to schedule an initial, complimentary consultation – called an Exploratory – to explore the fit for coaching together.
Looking for tools you can immediately apply to improve your relationships? Tune into weekly installments of “Under 10: A Mini Intimacy Podcast with Dr. Jessica Tartaro“
Monday Mar 28, 2022
Monday Mar 28, 2022
Most people feel some shame about masturbation. Yet self-pleasuring is a powerful way to know what your body wants. In this episode, I tell the story of how I met the Grandmother of Masturbation and invite you to reflect on your earliest messages about your body’s pleasure.
1:01 Exploring your body shows you what feels good and what doesn’t
1:23 I dedicate this episode to Betty Dodson, the Grandmother of Masturbation
1:57 The story of how I got humped by Betty
4:51 My self-pleasuring origin story
7:35 It can feel intimidating to try
7:46 Exploring your body is a way to meet yourself
8:26 Our culture is terrified of us getting sexually empowered
8:44 The locus of control shifts
8:56 This week’s homework
Resources: Betty Dodson died on October 31, 2020, but her legacy lives on. Find her book, Sex for One: The Joy of Selfloving anywhere books are sold including here. And watch one of the final interviews she gave before her death on the Netflix series, “Goop Lab”, in Season 1 Episode 3, “The Pleasure Is Ours”: https://www.netflix.com/title/80244690.
Podcast produced by Sal DeRosalia
Music composed and performed by Aimee Mia Kelley
Photo by Apostolos Vamvouras on Unsplash
Contact Information:
Intimacy Coach & Connection Facilitator
Pronouns “She” + “Her”
Telephone: 1 (480) 993-5562
Email: DrTartaro@gmail.com
Website: https://www.drjessicatartaro.com/
Contact me to schedule an initial, complimentary consultation – called an Exploratory – to explore the fit for coaching together.
Looking for tools you can immediately apply to improve your relationships? Tune into weekly installments of “Under 10: A Mini Intimacy Podcast with Dr. Jessica Tartaro“
Monday Mar 21, 2022
Monday Mar 21, 2022
In the moments when your feelings are bigger than you can handle, it’s important to have options. In this show, I share three “go to” principles to practice both when you most need it and especially in the times when you don’t.
1:35 No one-size-fits-all solution
2:13 You have to notice where you are in order to change it
2:55 Tracking in low stakes moments
3:36 I got lost and here’s what I found
4:57 The first principle
5:15 The second principle which you actually learned in kindergarten
6:32 The third principle – you have to fill in the blanks.
8:02 This week’s homework
9:41 An exercise we can do together right now
Resources: Read about and listen to Krishna Das, chanting and meditation teacher and amazing storyteller, here: https://www.krishnadas.com/. Find All I Really Need to Know I Learned in Kindergarten and other books by Robert Fulghum here: https://www.robertleefulghum.com/books/. Email me to find a buddy at DrTartaro@gmail.com.
Podcast produced by Sal DeRosalia
Music composed and performed by Aimee Mia Kelley
Photo by Simran Sood on Unsplash
Contact Information:
Intimacy Coach & Connection Facilitator
Pronouns “She” + “Her”
Telephone: 1 (480) 993-5562
Email: DrTartaro@gmail.com
Website: https://www.drjessicatartaro.com/
Contact me to schedule an initial, complimentary consultation – called an Exploratory – to explore the fit for coaching together.
Looking for tools you can immediately apply to improve your relationships? Tune into weekly installments of “Under 10: A Mini Intimacy Podcast with Dr. Jessica Tartaro“
Tuesday Mar 15, 2022
Tuesday Mar 15, 2022
When we only show our outsides to each other, we can feel alone. In this episode, I show you my insides and give you permission to do the same and to feel how connected we truly are.
1:05 There’s one main problem with being f*cked up
1:33 What if we had that social permission slip?
2:00 My intimacy coaching program gave us permission
2:55 I make an admission
4:02 When people we think have it together admit that they don’t
4:55 The power of showing our insides
5:20 I give you permission
5:50 A couples coaching example
6:22 The shame turns hurt into hopeless
6:40 Thomas Huebl and the collective nervous system
7:44 What we each do impacts the collective
8:21 A dream message
9:27 This week’s homework.
Resources: Thomas Huebl has a wealth of resources including free meditations and access to courses and lectures on his website here: https://thomashuebl.com/
Podcast produced by Sal DeRosalia
Music composed and performed by Aimee Mia Kelley
Photo by Cristian Palmer on Unsplash
Contact Information
Dr. Jessica Tartaro
Intimacy Coach & Connection Facilitator
Pronouns "She" + "Her"
Telephone: 1 (480) 993-5562
Email: DrTartaro@gmail.com
Website: https://www.drjessicatartaro.com/
“Contact me to schedule an initial, complimentary consultation – called an Exploratory – to explore the fit for coaching together.”
Looking for tools you can immediately apply to improve your relationships? Tune into weekly installments of "Under 10: A Mini Intimacy Podcast with Dr. Jessica Tartaro".
Monday Mar 07, 2022
Monday Mar 07, 2022
Though it may seem simple, opening with gratitude when what you want in love touches you can shake you to your core. In this episode, I explain why and offer you practices for growing this capacity.
1:21 Caveat: you may not like this story
1:40 Something very delicious in my life
2:33 What do you notice?
2:52 The first principle – the ability to joy in another’s joy
3:50 Can you tap some of this as if it was yours?
4:00 It will take training to stop contracting at others’ happiness.
4:50 Finding by Brene Brown about gratitude and joy
5:22 What are my options for responding to his love?
6:07 To pause in the face of beauty and say, I will let you touch me
6:45 This is why genuine, embodied gratitude can be so hard
7:41 Gratitude is a verb.
7:55 This week’s homework.
9:29 Gratitude can help us heal.
Resources: The famous orgasm diner scene from When Harry Met Sally is always worth a watch: https://youtu.be/lNEX0fbGePg. Read more about Brene’s Brown’s finding that gratitude invites more joy at: https://globalleadership.org/articles/leading-yourself/brene-brown-on-joy-and-gratitude/
Podcast produced by Sal DeRosalia
Music composed and performed by Aimee Mia Kelley
Photo by ABDALLA M on Unsplash
Contact Information
Dr. Jessica Tartaro
Intimacy Coach & Connection Facilitator
Pronouns "She" + "Her"
Telephone: 1 (480) 993-5562
Email: DrTartaro@gmail.com
Website: https://www.drjessicatartaro.com/
“Contact me to schedule an initial, complimentary consultation – called an Exploratory – to explore the fit for coaching together.”
Looking for tools you can immediately apply to improve your relationships? Tune into weekly installments of "Under 10: A Mini Intimacy Podcast with Dr. Jessica Tartaro".